Looking at flowers for me is love at first sight, I just have to see them to know I love them...people unlike flowers, have so much more than what we see. So many of us can hide deep secrets, scars, and experiences that color our view of life and those hidden details make us who we are. But how can you really hide how you feel inside forever ?
I watch people all day at work, I watch how they interact with me and I am fascinated with all the unique and wonderful people out there. Part of my job is to give them the help they need and I listen to their point of view, without saying too much about my view. That's my job, listening. Caring for people on pain, so sad how much pain and suffering is out there. Sometimes I just want to take a break, from it- when it's my time - but I can't just - leave. I have to take care of them before me.
I just keep going.
I'm used to this - its part of who I am. I've been in customer service all my life, won awards for it and even trained others with it. Being a mom demanded it, and so does love... When the caretaker needs taking care of, I go to my friends. I find peace in places of familiarity; a drive, a hug, a view, or a soak in the tub. Music helps, a good restaurant a night out. But, for some reason nothing seems to cure my pain, these days. A friendly face can distract me, but since I am being honest here, without love my life is cold and colorless.
With a heavy head I'm tired, I find my rest my retreat. I'm too exhausted to find time to love anyone includimg me. Sometime I think- if I could take that blue pill-just forget... This isn't the matrix and the wrong one's are chasing me that I want to turn around for.
Until I find him I'll not waste my life in sadness.
It's true what they say though. You can't buy love. In fact we are slave to love, we think, live and run for it and from it. It's a word I used to use loosely and no longer do so. It's true, we love not only that which is beautiful or nice, love hurts and you cannot escape that-no matter how hard you try.
I am no expert on love, because I think there isn't a formula for it, or a secret to it. I think you are never truly seeing it with eyes that see, it really does blind you. You don't get smarter with it, because the drug it creates only makes you want more. And beauty blinds you us with love, as you love you believe beauty is at hand.
The Beatles said its all you need, the Doobie Brothers say without it- where would you be now? And Chris Isaak thinks that he never wanted to fall into it... As long as there are people there will be love, and even beauty. It's not a fiction or science book- its as real as the flowers and just as fragile.
I'm sending you a great big hug for reading this, and if you really care respond to this with a beautiful caring word. I promise you, I'll love it.
Grace.
Peace.
Liz
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