Super Spooky

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Secret of Kells - This Is My Forest

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BIG AIR 2006 - Danny Way & Andy Macdonald

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we have great news!! Our newly redesigned and published pandawishes is now available to order at www.pandawishes.com

Fwd: hey

 we have great news!! Our newly redesigned and published pandawishes is now available to order at www.pandawishes.com 

Begin forwarded message:

From: okuku julius <okukujulio@googlemail.com>
Date: September 26, 2010 2:26:15 AM PDT
To: Cclizloves <cclizloves@gmail.com>
Subject: hey

book pages lol

--
caesar

Tweet by jimmyfallon from Twitterrific

Actually FB denied the rumor it made a phone. To avoid weirdness, they just accepted the rumor, then deleted it a few days later #FallonMono

http://twitter.com/jimmyfallon/status/25067789051

we have great news!! Our newly redesigned and published pandawishes is now available to order at www.pandawishes.com

Surely you Jest, Dress for success!

Hello!

How are you? and yes, I am waiting for an answer? You ever notice how it seems that there are people that just SAY things, and don't really even think about what they say, they just- go through the motions... for example:

Manners, does that even ring a bell, then your showing your age, because what ever happened to those? They seemed to go out of style with, old music, nice clothing and suits, and big giant cell phones. If you do have manners, I have a couple of questions, please help...whats up with this:

Hi! You look so pretty today!

Thanks-- you do too.

Is this just rhetoric? Do we even believe that, why say it at all if you just want someone to say it back, because people~ we know, that if you don't say the exact thing back- there is something really unfortunate happening, you don't appreciate the compliment! You were RUDE...( and yet sometimes if feels so patronizing.. for me, THAT feels so fake, like its a ploy to see if that's all you care about, how you look. Its not!, and often, well all the time, I know I don't look great, or even good, because I think that my standards are a little too high, or maybe exaggerated but I like men that dress nicely, but its not always a sign of class, I like honesty in personality best. See I am different, I don't JUST- look at the outside of people, I am actually much more influenced by what comes out of someones inside, and its never a surprise to see, the imbalance of beauty to behaviors.

Hi how are you?

Fine thanks how are you.

Fine thanks.

If you're a woman, you say, fine. If you're a man you say OK, and if your really into it, you say GREAT! and then walk away. I don't know why, but I think that you actually care ...IF you ask.

Thanks , for asking but if you really don't want to know, don't ask me! I cant tell you how many times I have been in a store and the clerks stalk you, "HI -- HOW ARE YOU,"

Um - I am shopping,( for good food , and prices that don't make me think your all getting rich, but I don't say that, even when the third or fourth, or fifth clerk says it...)

Finally I said as I was paying my bill, " You might want to ask everyone to NOT ask how are you, because after I had been asked about ten times, I was really going to tell them how I was doing " He laughed and said go ahead tell me, and that was the ice breaker for real friendship, and he is always nice to me, and doesn't ask me how are you. He smiles and I say, I am going to ask you, and then expect you to answer me, we chuckle...

It's just ridiculous to start a conversation with "how are you, "when you don't even know that person. I am not saying that I cant be nice, and say all the right words, but if a business is unaware that all the people are saying, "hi how are you," they are not selling the product they are secretly -psychologists in the wings, and really just want you to NOT talk to them. Most people go about Thier business

Ask me, what are you looking for, or MAY I assist you in your shopping today, or better yet, Thanks for coming in today! Or Liz great to see you. Best of all, I like the smile, that one little gesture that says, hey I am at peace with this, what ever it is. It also says, I am open to talking, or I am intelligent enough to help you if you need it and I know you're smart enough to ask for it, because women -will-ask for help. We will ask for it, and often I will offer it as a consumer in a public place, even when I just know the employers don't really want me to. HA!

For example, at the BANK, the one that claims to be of AMERICA...there is a person at the door, like a mait r'd "what can I help you with today?" ANYTHING? How about the fact that your ATM just ate my card and my check, can you do that? and they always give you the direction to the desk and then call a number far far away, and then I talk on the phone...that's not customer service, that's something else. I talked to their people for hours, and told my story ten times, and then I still had to fill out forms, and wait to have them say, we will think about this. Its just that moment you realize, being nice doesn't always work. You HAVE to get a little pushy!

No seriously, its odd to have someone smile and you - and comment to people as they pass, its like an inside beggar, CAN I PLEASE -- help you. She works there, and looks like she needs a job! Please don't ask me, please be busy, please please please I just think as I realize shes about to ask me. I'd just once like to see, once of those helpful people HELP someone, shes not doing the helping, shes directing people...I might look like a blond, and a girl, but really is that was shes really doing? REALLY? It feels a lot like, the person weeding out the weirdos, prejudging us, and yes Ill say it, profiling. When did it become the new normal to just look at someones outside and think, yes they are safe. Or oh no, they don't look safe? I am not going there.

I know that if I dress up, in my business attire in Redding, people will treat me like the manager of what ever place I am in, almost NO ONE wears real suits here, its kind of sad. I am so used to seeing my Father and Mother, and relatives in suits, men in three pieces suits with real wing tip shoes and nice hair, and clean, its just the way I was raised. We lived in the areas where there were plenty of clothing choices, but still, the people that worked wore working clothes. What is the problem with this? Okay, yes we think that success is only measured by how we dress, and that our outside attire can hide our inside imperfections, I will agree with the superficial-ness of that. The truth is, you do dress for success, and if all of a sudden a group of business' came in and had this image of success, and the look of clean, tailored fitted and classic , I think it offers a positive image and would inspire others to possibly-strive for higher ideals. That's a mouthful, its a long shot, maybe even a silly idea, but it works in almost every big city. Yes kids, people do look at what you wear, and they do see that first . Sorry.

Jim Rohn spokes about this: " God judges you on your inside. People Judge you on your outside. People aren't supposed to do that, but they do, they DO!"

In Redding, and the adjacent areas, very few understand professional attire. I can go almost anywhere, and count on one had the number of people who LOOK like they are working,( and even less that act like they are working.) I just keep thinking, that more more its gets about, wearing all black, and dressing down, and taking the personal style out of wearing clothing, that we need less and less. If you don't see it around you, if you don't eat it, live in it or wear it, you don't need it. If it doesn't pay your bills feed your kids, or clean your house, you cant afford it. We are a society of decadence, don't be fooled by the news and the Internet this is the USA- and we have lowered our standards with our use of the Internet, cell phones, texting, slang words, our lack of truly respectful work clothing, and the loss of intelligence in the most common choices such as foods we eat, and prices of services, and even worse, we just accept what we are told. The kids still use terms like Ho- and pimp, and the fashion industry has made it popular to look like those images, selling us the EMPERORS NEW CLOTHING.

How far are we from going naked with boys and men wearing pants below their bottom? And girls in bathing suit tops, lower than the cleavage? Its not that this is wrong all the time, its just wrong at work! Please, do I need to be clearer here? What are you selling you, or the product? If all I can see you, and I cant get past you to get in the door, and you wont leave me alone after your first greeting or give me any attention when I wait at the register, people this is why we are out of work, and in a consumer stale mate. NO one wants to go out anymore, because NOTHING is worth it! The price we pay, for restaurants, and services is barely worth it, and add in the fact that customer service is non existent, why buy anything in a store, or go out to eat. WHY?

There seems to be no end for reasons to do everything yourself, even at the grocery store we have to bag it our self, and ring it, and of course cook it. Why is this trend of us just doing it ourselves getting so big, because people don't trust others, and we don't want to pay someone else, for something that it seems like we can do better. It's a no brainer, we're not paying for what we're not getting, and its just the consumer finally saying I am not going to take it anymore.

Do what ever you want in your house, dress how ever you want in your business, or day off or what ever, that is not up for debate. My honest opinion is just that, its just my view of this life.

To be plain and simple, stupid outfits make you look stupid. Sorry, and smart suits can make the dumbest person look smart. That's just the way it is. You can find clothes for almost nothing at the GOOD WILL or the SALVATION ARMY, not to mention the oodles of Consignment shops waiting for you to recycle. That's smart living!

What is the difference between MACY's and the SALVATION ARMY? About 50$

When you buy something, and wear it just once its used. YOU wore it, once! Unless you are very famous, your clothes wont be worth what you paid for them, do not think that the consignment stores would carry anything that wasn't gently worn. Its just smart living to recycle your things, and shop at these local stores to help the economy. The majority of these people care, and they will give you what you pay for, but not more than that. Don't expect high tea at the junk store, and don't expect thrift store prices at Macy's. Its just simple. If the stores don't cater to what we need as consumers we are not going to buy it. And if credit is all they think we are, even the employees are treated like customers, fee paying, profit building, and disrespected you can be sure that the clientele will be treated the exact same way. How much do we really need? How many coats, how many suits? how much is enough? Its a balance that is not always easy to maintain, but kids you could think about this more.

" Chasing earthly pleasures will only bring your frustration.."

If everyone had to wear the same thing, wed fight for our right to be our own style. If there was only BLACK clothes Macy's would not be rich, and its employees would not be forced to just wear that, people would fight for freedom to wear their own styles or even MAKE THEIR OWN CLOTHES! Referenced to the past days of history when there were no fabric stores, and we were not even allowed to BUY any fabric except black, women were told what to wear, and anything else was considered outrageous! We don't miss the choices until they are gone. Prove to others that you believe in choices, make them every day! and Say yes I made this choice, not just, well I don't care! CARE! Everything has an impact, it's your life.

"Observe" as the Indians say, you don't always have to be doing, going, buying.

Lets make the kind of choices each day, that insist upon honesty, that open the doors for respect to others choices, and keep in mind that what do is more valuable that what we look like, but that we can choose to improve the way people see us! Not just by how we dress, but that helps. What you do is up to you, choose to be smart, and say what you want , but mean what you say.

By the way, how are you?

Always

in

Love

LIZ Pandawishes.com

Winners : Astronomy Photographer of the Year : Exhibitions : Visit the museum : NMM

http://www.nmm.ac.uk/visit/exhibitions/astronomy-photographer-of-the-year/winners/

we have great news!! Our newly redesigned and published pandawishes is now available to order at www.pandawishes.com

Stolen moments

Thank you iphone

Love this:

Big brother

Just a few thoughts on the concept of "big brother"
Do we think we are being watched via surveillance camera? Hmmm yeas I do.
Does it happen in public and in secret? Yes!
Does your local entity save film images to use for public safety, or for possible criminal investigation? Yes

Can you find anything on film?
Almost!

Can you film anyone easily and make it available for public viewing?
Yes - with the exception of the same public authority that is filming you --- oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This isn't a paranoid rant, or a prophetic feeling, it's a genuine concern. If the police do not want to be filmed and are protecting their right to Not be, under a wire tap law, shouldn't we?
I can say it's no big deal and we can all go back to our lives right? Except for there is only one more thing... Wouldn't it be great if your monitor was more than one way?
Remember in the movie willy wonks and the chocolate factory, with Jonny Dep, he says "it's television not telephone, very different! "

Why don't we have live interactive television? Why can't we talk back to the things we see on tv? When will real life come to our home via live two way cameras??

When will we have that technology we saw in the movie 2010 where the astronaut calls home from the space station and he sees his child on the screen? Aren't we in 2010??
Yes and most of us by now have seen skype and video chat . By now even cell phones can see us, but is it connecting us to those who can't leave home? Or don't know how to use cell phones or computers?
No! Of course not, these services are for the Internet savvy and for those willing to pay!!

I would like to change this, let me try to !!

Until video security is cheap and easy, remember there is still one big brother always watching always listening , and the price, paid in full. Prayers free, to a listening big brother Jesus, Christ He's got the all the right connections for your requests, your concerns and the best part it covers everyone all you need is faith.
Faith in computers? Not so much, faith in police - limited.

Faith it's a two way connection, and you get much more than what you see.

:)

Fwd: Pic

This is so cute!! It's my dad and pams sons son!! Look! 

 we have great news!! Our newly redesigned and published pandawishes is now available to order at www.pandawishes.com 

Begin forwarded message:

From: "christy.tucker@live.com" <christy.tucker@live.com>
Date: August 14, 2010 1:40:23 PM PDT
To: "Liz Masloff" <liz@pandawishes.com>,"larry becksted" <labsweb@yahoo.com>
Subject: Pic

Sent from my HTC on the Now Network from Sprint!

Did you see the latest cover of LIFE?

Sent from LIFE iPhone
For personal non-commercial use only.

Did you see the latest cover of LIFE?

Sent from LIFE iPhone
For personal non-commercial use only.

All things wise and wonderful.

In my never ending search for perfection, I find it necessary to write about all things wise and wonderful that has past before me, and I am so grateful for all of it.

Coffee, good coffee is where I'd like to begin, and doesn't it make for the best of days? The best coffee for me is nice and strong, freshly ground and with flavors that are organically rich in nuts and cocoa. I have several I like from Costco, but they are hardly fair trade, and then there is the old standby PEET'S which is like Coffee Heroine! So strong that one good cup has the virtue to stand up to entire of day of stressful work, driving, and chores. There is that little pick me up at the tea time hour of 3 or 4 that begs for coffee or tea, and it does revive the soul, like it should. Mindful alertness, that can offer a lift for the sorrowful soul or the downtrodden day. Even in hot weather I can drink coffee, I was enjoying it at the beach hot just the other day! I love coffee, and tea, but it has to taste smooth, and big on the tongue.

Music, the wonderful gift of something that for me feels like food, clothing or education. Who doesn't like music, so many choices, so many talented people to see performing, and without it we might all just wither away. From the far reaches of time there was music, and even in nature we can hear the rhythm of the waves, the song of the bird, and the voice of the wind in the trees, it is all around us, and it is often as free as wisdom is in the library, you can find it, you can see it and hear it, but you must seek it out. Classical piano with its perfect pitch, composers like Beethoven or Mozart, and Handel. Jazz has so many greats I cant even list, but in all moods there are made for listening musical pieces. Have you ever put on a DVD just listen to the score of the movie? Some are truly amazing, Lord of the Rings, and Miyazaki makes his own score for his animated features! Music clothes the mind it feeds the soul and it motivates the body, it is my favorite thing of all, and its simply amazing we have ipods and iphones.

Conversation, the kind that does not intimidate with posturing, or politics, the kind that is sincerely in the moment, and can withstand a little humor, self jibing, and personal judgements. It is ok to talk about how you feel about politics, and I will listen to your point of view about the President and his positions. I will not however be a punching bag for your personal agenda against a political party, so that you can grandstand about something that really you have no intention of ever really doing anything about! When did it become the norm to vent to anyone who will listen? It used to be a sign of insanity to talk about the world in such a doomsday er way, best of all, those that did stand in public and make dramatic scenes without factual basis, that is to say ; If you have something to fight for, then go and do it, I am not the one in charge, do I look like I am in charge?

Religion, faith, spirituality, God, and all that supernatural stuff. Did I ever tell you that I wrote a book about my true stories ? It's called GORK, that is a medical term that I learned from a great game, balderdash. It is the word the staff and Dr's will use, when they have no idea why the corpse died or how they died, its just a mystery, and GOD ONLY REALLY KNOWS, is the full meaning of the acronym for it. If you are a person that is afraid to talk about your personal inner sanctuary of belief, then don't, and if you are offended by my belief, that God does exist and I believe that we should care and do things for the people, for HIM and HIS son, I do not apologise for my belief. I will not however, confront you about your faith, or demand that you believe what I do, I don't think this is the way to a kind hearted life, I would hope that you might know God from your own choices, and if you should need to know about the secrets of the Universe you might just wonder and ask yourself these questions: Why does the Bible exist?

Why is it sold in so many languages, and how is it that it can tell history of so many cultures from centuries past? What is my family tradition, did my family believe this?

and then ask yourself if you can explain all the things in your life, can you? Can you explain everything? Of course not, and this is where intelligence comes in, we know we cant know it all, and therefore that brings us to, how did we get here? Not just from the beginning but from --dirt huts, rocks and eating fish...How did we get to be who we are today?

I hope you have had some events in your life, that cannot be explained, that are so amazing that you have to believe they were divinely guided to you, and directed just for you, if you don't, and you can even say you are the believer, don't be discouraged, I have enough mysterious stories to share. Stories are like friends, once you have been exposed to them, you can chose if you want to remember them or let go of them. But if that were not enough, the Bible does, have its place for faith building, for amazing stories and for following the knowledge that brought us all here. Even if you think that the Bible left out details and changed a few things, is this not true of our history books? So we cant say that we will ever know everything that we can, just from what we read, or what people tell us, it is all up to us, what we do in order to believe. I never tell anyone that people can do what God can, I don't expect Godly things from people and I would not argue that religion in its purest sense is what it is, a system of belief, a cult or a habit. You make it what it is. I study the Lutheran stories because I like the fact that said, you cant buy your way into heaven, and you are not going to be able to out do God anytime soon, just be the best person you can be, Think about GOD in all you do, practice HONESTY, LOVE, and don't worry about the rest. If that is something you don't want to do, figure out your own way.

Happiness, joy and peace. Words that are often glued into our mind demanding something great or super fine, or expensive. Have you ever been talking to someone and they are telling you a story about their life, and maybe its an explanation of something they were unhappy with, and you think to yourself, that's nothing, I can top that... and then you think, should I tell them my story? or should I just, let them believe they have it worse...Happiness is when you are content to listen and let others tell you who they are inside, and you can believe them, and not want to show them constantly who you are, and the joy of life is the path we walk on. Joy for me, is when I can remember to laugh when I should give up, Joy for me is simply remembering that I can only do what I can do and let the world be what it is, then I can let go and enjoy...

Peace is the understanding that all things are here for us to learn from, for us to work on and for us to be in step with. Peace does not come from war, or from hatred, or from suing someone, or worse from blaming them for your problems, peace is the inner sanctuary we dwell in, secretly or not, it is there for us, we just have to take the time to go there. The more we dwell in peace, the more we will see it in others, the more it will color our choices and the better we will be in spreading to others. Peace is not just a fancy word, or a over used hippy phrase, its actually a physical thing I can see and touch. I see it on the news when they show people making a difference, I stroke its fur, when its a cat on my bed, its the smile on my child's face, its the dinner on the table. Its the forgiveness from an enemy, its the passage of time from a hurtful memory, it is always there, all around us, and not wavering, consistent and living, it loves us with a deliberate moment, we must in fact try to be in. Its not tomorrow, its not yesterday, it is like the present, the gift, and the Christmas always.

Money, wise and wonderful; If ever there was something I can admit to not understanding it would be the all mighty dollar bill, darn if it doesn't try to be my worse enemy! If only I would get that one thing to change, I can do most other things, but this one thing is my downfall. Is it my utter inability to be a cold hearted work-aholic, or is it my vast need to live in the moment...Possibly its the DNA that has been at work in my personality since birth to give all I have away, be an artist and live like a peasant...DON'T know, but I do not like poverty, I do not like sedentary lifestyles, and I would just like to ask for the Lord and the Universe to please pass the gift of money onto me so that I can achieve goals that I cannot afford at this time, and if that should sound ridiculous, I agree. Hard working since I was 13, and determined, goal setting , and healthy with no excuses, I think that prayer works and I do believe in miracles. The best part is that everyone is talking about the fall of the economy, the down sizing and the cut backs, and how we all can live on less, and do more, H A! I could write the book on that! Thanks to the fugile family I grew up with :) Its not a big change for us, but unemployment was for sure. Though I am deeply grateful for work now, and all that we have, it seems to be a little to late, I don't want to end up out on the street. I pray each day for hope and time, and healthy for all of us, for wisdom and all things wonderful ...

PS My sons girl friend needs prayers too, I do hope Lord that you find a way to give her the wisdom and peace that passes all understanding, not from this world Lord but from you.

In Christ, and in LOVE

LIZ

Rodrigo y Gabriela with Alex Skolnick Trio

Check out this video on YouTube:
I think I must go and see this gypsy king meets dimeola! Wows

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_gwY1VAHF8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

we have great news!! Our newly redesigned and published pandawishes is now available to order at www.pandawishes.com

Anyone for Turkish delight?

The whole world has gone mad.

Unleash the Kracken! ..AhOY!

Oil Companies think they can convince us through television advertisements that they truly care about us...I find it fascinating that the billions of dollars they make isn't enough to ensure they do a safe and consciencous job. When will there be enough money made for the oil companies to think, we should do more than just wait for a disaster, we should actually stop pollution before it gets out of control. But if it's not the self serving, mass marketed, oil hunter we're going to worry about, its the petrolium thirsty vehicles, homes, business', that continue to pay the hefty price for our earths limited treasures. When is it a crime to steal from the earth?

When do we think its not ours to take?

How can we teach honesty, and honor when its first come first serve, and the criminals with the most money win?

Criminals do seem to be winning, dont they?We see them in the newspaper and on TV they get all the air time, do they have sponsors? The Madoff investor, that one guy, was a huge problem, and he knew so many famous people, he took money under every guise and spoiled lives and companies, and business', he was almost unstoppable! He did not get caught, he turned himself in! When he realized that he was not going to make some multi-million dollar payments, and people we're getting wise, he tried to protect the ones he showered with money, and they dont see the crime in keeping the things they own!!

Take a deep breathe, here, because this is where I am going with this! If my husband was the richest investor on earth, I would be happy, but if I found out that it came to us in a dishonest way, I would be crushed and would be the first to say -=- stop!! NO WAY, red FLAG!!

Note to self, if my boss has a giant screw on his desk, get a new job!

He's an easy target, we love to hate "that man" it's easy, he's had his fun now he should pay. There are far more nefarious people, that pose a threat to common citizens, it's those that lure you in with the guise of good will, they hold raffles and fun raisers, they organize rather effortly a trusted group of friends, begin the auction, sell the tickets or just plain collect the money, but watch that money!! Because it goes into the pockets of these women, and men; and in Redding Librarians, and School superintendants. Why would anyone want to take books from a Library? But they are willing to write checks to pay for books, that all teachers use S O IT SAYS IN PRINT IN THE PAPER!! and so many are blamed and persecuted in the papers, before anything is ever proven! IS nothing sacred, not even our children ~from our teachers and librarians?

We will be safer when all people who break laws are in jail right? I mean they surely put Martha away, and dont forget she did not get off easy! She had to eat dandelions in the grass... But hey they showed her! No excuses now! Now ask yourself, if you have never ever done anything even slightly illeagal! Never J Walked>what is that, not crossed in a safe place, on the corner or in a cross walk...OH NO! There are crimes for things you can not imagine!

http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/

don't believe me-- ?In Texas it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

Never so much as forgot to pay for something in the supermarket line, or even just taken some fruit to taste at the store? I know that each crime deserves the right kind of punishment, and the law states clearly what we can-- and CANT DO! That is not always taken seriously, in fact so many of our constitutional rights are being stomped on, isn't that a crime? DO you wave your flag over your rights and get them? We usually hire a lawyer to go to court, and we leave everything else up to common sense...Then why are the police involved in people's lives? People should not have to resort to the police to serve as personal secretaries taking note of every detail of someones sorted life, no matter how bad or sad it may be, its private! It should not be headline news. Headline news, is completely out of control, everyday we see and hear more crimes and learn more about people involved with crime, than we really should. Do we care about punishing them? I find it hardly civilized to see that people spend time posting onto chat rooms and articles sorted comments that do nothing but prove many people should not be allowed to use a computer.

There is no discipline for this! No way to stop it, NO CONTROL! Its a shame to see that this new world we live in has young people that claim, "I wont be controlled", it's a sign of the future, we are heading toward a mass of confusion of a generation of grow-ing ups, that don't take the kind of care of their elders they way should, everyday our elderly are abused, mostly for their money, but it can also be the mere lack of respect. Just because someone is old, does not mean they are dumb, quite the contrary they can teach us much about grace and life enduring difficult challenges not limited to physical, overcoming the stereo type of being is an "Elder" is an achievement in itself. Then there are teen and newly adult-children that wont be controlled, they will grow up to be adults that are out of control. Learn to understand this, gone are the days of discipline for children, we don't have any recourse to stop the child that doesn't want to be well mannered. Our military and our Jails will be active forever, with youngsters who could not heed to the word NO.

It makes me want to move, venture out onto the great and vast seas, and find a new land...but we cant do that can we? This is the last frontier right? Oh but we could all live in the Australian outback, got shovels? I might do it, but I would sure miss the beauty of my Bay Area, my silly city, San Francisco! Berkeley, and Marin...I would remember the food and the faces, and even though its crazy there, it's normal and accepted to be different...We can find a nice big old mansion somewhere and fix it up. Rent out rooms to college kids who need them ...
But who can move? Most of us cant budge, the housing market is now the biggest gamble...our neighborhood has completely changed since we've been here, and not for the better, I think.




Spare Room? Have you a spare room, is that the new phrase? Gone are the days of Spare Change...Now we need to rent our spare rooms that once gave us such hobby- joys as sewing, music, computing, or simply to store excess clutter. I recently heard an advertisement for a classy consignment shop, while listening to Classical Music on the radio station, KDFC out of San Francisco. Curious catch phrases like, do you need to turn that office into a spare room? Have that valuable old antique desk in good condition that is just sitting there, waiting to be sold and we can do it all for you! SO YOU CAN remodel your new spare room! Who is going to rent it?


When did we really need to have spare rooms? Is it because no one can pay their housing bills and children are moving back in with the parents? Or is it because the elderly need to rent a room in the house to pay the outrageous taxes on a paid for home in SF? Spare room, does it come with a wardrobe? Now say it in the Queen's English,..(sp aare oom), gosh if we all had one of those, we'd all just live in Narnia would we not? Anyone for Turkish Delight?











To be continued...( yes Forgive me for typos, I am not perfect...try laughing it helps)


HI My name is Liz I am from spare room...click the title at the beginning-for a preview of the new movie from the Chronicles of Narnia...The Dawn Trader.

owner of a broken heart

Just a little note to keep in touch...

You see I love to keep in the good graces of my family and I often write, call and email. Lately I have realized that I am an owner of a broken heart. That doesn't mean that I cant find love or that it hasn't found me...Its just that I think I have one of those defective ones, because I don't seem to hate anyone no matter what they do to me.

I have time and time again, worn my heart on my sleeve and have offered it up for grabs, and even put it out for all to see, only to have it stolen, chaffed, run over, stomped on and even- lost for awhile. I have since found it, and I have put it back where it belongs, right here...or is it?

You see I am wondering where does our hear belong? The Beatles said, we should hide our love away, and NO wonder because of all of the things on earth is there anything more talked about more debated more used and satirized that the human heart? Musicians, artists, poets, lovers and haters, everyone has a heart-- right?

It's made of gold, no wonder everyone wants to collect them ! Do we even know how much our heart is worth, I am willing to say that few people have ever studied the heart and exactly what it does for them everyday. If ever there was a taken for granted item its got to be the human heart, for all it does, for the love for the life for the blood and for the millions of beats, do we even understand how it works?

What makes you tick?

I have a story I tell once in awhile, about my mother, whom I love with all my heart, and this experience felt as if the hand of God touched my life. If you don't believe me, shoot me, but read this and think about how much of a coincidence it is...

I spent my freshman year of High School at Albany High School in California. I followed my Brother there, who was without a doubt the genius 2nd in his class only to a kid who never received a B in his life...???! As he considered school a joke, he was the chemist, the French student, the cross country runner, he could pass every class without even trying, and did , at the age of 16. Went on to Cal Berk, and so on, I was not like him, and my life had taken this odd and supernatural turn, for reasons I don't know why, it just was more and more obvious that I was being tested. I was treated terribly as I was not the student he was, I eventually left this school for a far better school, BHS, and this was the story I told to the Superintendent, that allowed my to achieve a transfer and the last, the very last-- pass to change schools.

I had been stuck in a horrible health class, after my fall from grace in biology. The teacher was not only the auto shop teacher he was the drivers ed teacher as well, he looked like Ted Bunde from Married with Children, and he was about as intelligent. One morning he said to the class don't forget your term papers are due Friday better not forget. I said, ah what term paper? He said, oh you weren't here when we assigned them so you have three days, here's your subject good luck. He gave me a torn piece of paper, all it said was " heart attacks". That's it, no outline no assignment per say, just this tiny note left over from what was probably a bowl of choices.

I did my homework, I do my work! I went to the library, and checked out every book they had, there was mostly reference books so I had to do what ever I could to read and learn when was there. I went to the Cal Berk Library, and looked at all the great health books thanks to my Brother, and was really interested in learning about the heart. I was open to learning new things, and found similar and redundant information in most books. During the eighties open heart surgery was still a very mysterious thing, and the biggest part of this surgery that was emphasized was the anaesthesia, and the Dr. who applies it. The procedure at the time was to stop the heart and then put it on the machine to give drugs, and balance fluid, and blood through the machine until the patient is ready to come out of it. The line of knowledge for drugs is thin, too much and you die or don't wake up, too little you can feel pain and wake up! Its amazing that we have made progress from the 8o's but most of the concepts remain, fix the heart, and take drugs. Dr's cant be exactly sure what is the perfect mix, or amount, its a hope most of the time, its a love and the Dr will stay with the patient the entire time hes being treated.

A new heart is still , not widely used, I learned about pace makers, and digitalis's. Defibrillators , were still new outside-hardware, big and useful but not perfect like the body.

I learned how read the signs of heart attack, the dizziness, and fainting the pain in the arm, and other extremities, and how to treat for shock. I found out that when the heart stops from a heart attack that the brain is at risk for damage because the lack of blood flow to it, that raising the feet and knees higher than the head is most important, this has not changed. Treating for shock and getting emergency care also hasn't changed. When we think about how often people have symptoms, we should not forget how we can help. (Know the signs and offer care)

I did my paper, and drew and hand painted beautiful image of the heart and the four chambers and the ventricles and labeled the entire painting, with correct blood colors and correct names; that was my cover, of my ten page paper. I turned it in on Friday, on time and in plastic. I was elevated to know I could do it. My teacher looked less than impressed as I handed it to him.

On Saturday morning, I awoke to the usual morning, at my house, coffee and fresh pastries, and I was always eating those fattening pastries, ooh they are so good in Berkeley. Big round pastries with cream cheese and blueberries! I was quite full, and needed a walk, after that. My mother loves to walk, and she said, lets go I will walk with you. So we proceeded to do as we always do, walk up up up to hills in Berkeley, looking at the beautiful houses and trekking up the steep and winding streets; I thought we would get lost but my mom loved to just wander and it was a nice thing to do, and just talk. This day we had gone only about two or so miles, and it was warmer than usual I remember. We passed a house, that had a beautiful dark red plum tree, the kind that just drips ripe fruit onto the ground, the kind that invites you to it, with shade and fragrance. She reached for the plum, and she said oh, dear, and in a voice I did not recognize she started to banter, I cant see, I am dizzy, I cant see oh no...

I turned and caught her as she fell -- I knew in my heart=-=- OMG- shes having a heart attack-- and I knew exactly what to do. We were on a hill, and it was perfect for putting her head down to keep the blood in her brain and keep her healthy, I put my head in my lap,and I talked to her and held her. In what could not have been but a minute the owner of the house, ran out, and said, "I am a fireman, the ambulance is coming!!" I did not even know where we were but in seconds we were whisked off to the hospital, just me and my mom. My Mother as it turned out, had not eaten any breakfast, she had only had coffee, and the caffeine was effecting her heart rate so badly that she might not have lived had she not been given proper treatment.

They said her heart is 220 over 220, it was off the chart!!!, she was delirious, and kept saying things that did not make sense, to this day, I barely remember anything about an ambulance, I cant say much about it, except it's a blur, but I sure remember the fall, and the plum tree and then she stayed there. My Mother was in intensive care for three days. Over a holiday weekend, and only one day into her new insurance kicking in too!

On the Monday, holiday , we sat with her in the Hospital, and she was linked up to ALL the machines, and on drugs to try to calm her, but we really did not help. Just seeing me she would wind up again and the machines would alert the nurses.

Then something happened the Dr came in and said," I MUST meet this Daughter, " he looked at me, all of 13, and said, " how did you know how to help her, she might have....she was very,.." he stopped short, knowing he could not say, died, in front of my very sensitive mother

I said, I did a report and just turned it in! he looked at me and said, "I want to see this report..."

Feeling great I said OK!

Tuesday came and when I came to my health class I was certainly wiser. I was handed my report back, and it said F, in a big red marker over my image of the heart.

My heart was torn! What is this??? ARRG! I still brought it to the Dr when we went to get my mom the next day. He asked for it, I was ashamed... I showed the DR, he said may I see it, I said I got an F. He said, let me have it ! He walked away with it like it was gold...He held it close to him, and walked out...He said I will deal with your teacher!

I was so vilified, and yet validated. It was like , God himself was going to change things for me. I knew I had helped my mom, even if I never passed another health class, it was worth it to know what I did. It was something that I will never forget, and nether will my mother.

I found out that the Dr not only loved my paper HE called and talked to the teacher himself! He resubmitted the paper to me, and had hand painted it with white out, erasing the F. The paper came back and A-, he said it was too long. Never acknowledging my reward of success with my mother.

That is when we need one of the new hearts, one that is so resilient that nothing breaks it. If only I had one, I wonder what kind of person I would be. Would I be totally different? Remember in Charlie and the Chocolate factory, when Willy Wonka says, " where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head ?" Do we learn to love from our family, or from our environment, are we hard wired to be a certain way, no matter what, is it in our DNA? I feel like I just care about poeple, and could never turn down a person in need. But we need to accept the facts, people can and will do mean and cruel things to us, if we let them in, and let them see our giving and loving hearts, and we can only believe that GOD himself passes judgement, not teachers, not cruel grades, not even me. I will always want to be out there , giving my heart, and not expect to get anything back, because my cup overflows, with abundance, and I can give to live.

But if you see me, or read this post, don't think I wont want to be validated or loved, back, I don't have a plastic heart, I still bleed.

There is another story, that comes from the little prince, where the fox is broken hearted and says hes going to cry, the prince says, that I have done you no good at all. The fox say, oh you have done me good, and I will give the gift of a present. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. You become responsible forever, for the hearts you have tamed.

LOVE and pandawishes

LIZ

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/artificial-heart-abiocor-hand.jpg

ATM: withdrawls?

God knows I am a writer, why else would He give my hands such great things to write?

I am a little grumpy and worried, but I do love writing I feel so much better knowing I could refer this to my Record Searchlight Newspaper-and people will read and know all about it.


Here is the letter:



Hello David Benda-
I believe that I have written you before with my consumer woes, over a Lowes BBQ that caught fire. I was quite pleased with your help in getting the response I needed from Lowes, and the most important thing, getting the information out to warn the good people of this Area.

I have a new fact that I have had to learn the hard way that I would really like the public to know.

Last night at about 9pm, I went to the ATM for Bank of America, located at Hilltop across from the Shasta Mall. I proceeded to give the machine my card, my information and then a personal check for 300$, at the moment it took my check, the machine turned black, and went off!!
after a minute or two, it said, this ATM is out of order, and for me to please - go away...It was black screen -- while I called the 800 number and talked to an operator named Louise, who as soon as she heard the machine took my card, cancelled my ATM card!!! Now I have, to make a claim for my money with another operator, but I am actually disconnected. I was stunned! I have Pay Pal connected to that card, I have a web site, it is my only way to make income at this time, and I had no proof of my check at all.
I was with my daughter and we were standing there long enough to see the ATM start back up again! It actually came back, I put another bank card to Sierra Central in the machine, and it could see that account and was completely fine!! I was furious!
Now we call the 800 # again, and I get a person, who won’t give me any information unless I give him my ATM card #!!! I was so upset to this astounding revelation, that I would have to deal with a labyrinth of phone conversations to find my money, and not once was there any sentiment of customer satisfaction; no one said to me, we are sorry, this is unacceptable.

I went home after two phone calls, and 45 minutes, all the while the ATM machine has that cute green light inviting your card, and the sweet little signs say EASY DEPOSITS! THIS IS NOT EASY!

Today at 10 am I went into the bank, to try to figure out where the money went, I have checked my account online and no money has been deposited. I spoke with two women, one at the door, and another customer service representative. I was shuffled to a back room, to talk to another representative on the phone, after I was told that no one in the bank, access the ATM machines, NO ONE?? I was told that they are run by a separate entity! My card and my check are in that machine, but I can’t have it? NOPE.

I was given the same type of customer service from inside the bank, as I was given on the phone, not one representative showed knowledge of why this happened, and when I asked the phone person there was no answer.

My first solution from B of A is for me to call the source of the check, and cancel it. I am also going to have to file a claim for money...I said to the bank person on the phone, that I would be writing the Newspaper, and telling how this happened, and the reality of "Easy deposits," and how this ATM is now working fine.
They then changed their mind, and said that I did not need to cancel the check at the source, and they would put temporary funds, available possibly tomorrow.

He also said that, the bank could and does have access to the ATM, and he was not sure why they say they don’t.

I am writing you to say that, this is a real hassle, claiming money has put me in quite a spot. And canceling my ATM without even asking me...was the biggest shock. I would like to know what is the situation with the B of A ATMS< who does access them?
And does this differ with local banks? This might be a perfect reason to bank locally, to avoid these kinds of problems.

ATM's are up and running, but I still don’t have any money. The sign is still on the ATM easy deposits...
not if you ask me.

Thanks and have a great day.

Sincerely,
Liz Masloff
Redding CA

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Blogging for real

Hi i am back to blogging because I have to talk about some very important issues going on right now. I would like to cover all the bases, local news, state and us news and then world views, to finish with something good and wholesome to entice a second look. That's how the news works on tv, I like that it seems a little short stuffed into 30 minutes but who really has news enough for much more. If you did it everyday, then 30 minutes minus commercials is sufficient. My local news is two half hour programs 30 minutes long, almost exactly the same!!! What's up with that? Booorriinng.
I read the local paper each day, it's colorful and small full of little surprises but mostly it's not good news, I like the funnies, and I remember that for years and years that has been a consistent in a world of change. Oh and the fact my grandfather called himself "Teen" after the comics.
But news is more than comics there is weather forecasts, and business listings want ads and even stories about opinions, and the current political
outlook , with all the opposing views. It seems like the whole business of news can refocus you away from what is real . No wonder people love to publish their own life story online, with twitter, facebook, myspace, blogs, because what is news if it doesn't apply to your life?
The world is full of experts and everywhere you go, someone wants you to try their product, or tell you what
is best for your kids, house, your waistline and your health. When does it become news that someone did not follow the script or the recipe or the most up to date product --and didn't die? For instance, does anyone dare advertise that the price of television is distorted and a bad investment? The cost of just cable for the average family has gone to more than 1000.00 dollars a year! That could be more than your car insurance. Phone bills with cell phones are worse than ever, does anyone dare to talk about that? The futile attempts to regulate pricing for the better of people have long since
been forgotten, it's all fair game, for big corporations. Truth is bills have tripled for everyone, energy water waste we all just pay it because we are afraid to be cut off, we know how nasty these companies are, it really feels like we are under the gun. The biggest slap in the face is the deposit, get shut off get a huge deposit! Now how can the same person who couldn't pay before afford to pay extra now? This kind of highway robbery should be illegal but thanks to our laws our "freedoms" we aren't protected from our utilities they are protected from us! Now that's is the same kind of thinking that got corporations protection laws and made lawyers rich.
People still have to pay these bills to make these companies run, and if you had a really smart gas or electric meter it would tell you exactly how much they are paying for the same energy you are buying !! But hey would you even know how to do that? When was the last time you read anything in your local paper that gave you good information on alternative energy that was truly your advocate?
That's my beef? The real news the stuff we need to know isn't there. I wish my news knew exactly what I needed, I would ask it for real answers to my questions about my life!

That is why I talk to God, I spend time in private prayer and also with others that are in my circle of worship. I get better answers from my circle of faith my peeps and yes through the power of prayer through Jesus Christ on the things that really matter, the things I can change and the life I lead. If I want the opiate of the masses I can turn on tv, but I won't be getting life answers. If I need to find out the weather I can look at a myriad of online satellite sources, but I have to actually feel it for myself. And if the problems of the news are too great, to worrisome too expensive I know I can turn to my God for support, for love, and in an emergency I can turn to my Church, my friends, my company of believers. Because when I do that, I am comforted. Like my Fathers words visits and letters he knows exactly what I need and each day it's there.
Which brings me to the last truth of real blogging, when it's not a good day, when no one is there when the darkness comes, when it all falls apart does the tv care then? Does Att call you and say your such a good person to pay your bills, does the weather ever cooperate? No not one of those expensive paid companies run by people will ever care about you. And when you loose it all, will you even want to talk to them? We can't plan for everything, but if you know that 911 number, you can also know that people who care are your real friends, people who act like people should. Keep a list of those you can really call, if it's just your mom... Or husband or wife time to expand the list. Take stock today, like you would if you owned a house, how much are your friends really worth? Because the best things in life really are free. And the things we buy we forget, real true honest friendship is more valuable than gold. Treasure yourself invest in a friend today! Give your time, send a card, make a date and really share yourself. And whatever you believe god to be in your life ask yourself this, what image to I project ? Do you look angelic? Or wholesome? Happy sad , demonic? What is your outward appearance because even though you always change, you can control only one thing in life, what you project.
A smile means joy in any language, tears are painful or heartfelt, and a shallow stare, a harsh word, or callous behavior makes a difference in everyones life. You control your outward expressions, you hold the key. Make your personality show, create yourself, and then you can be yourself. You are the perfect you! No one does you better!

I love people and look forward to meeting new and reconnecting with old friends. Parties,dinners, coffee all great fun, phone calls letters and hugs even better. Visiting, drives, weekends, that's the good stuff.

See you soon! Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you soon.
Love and pandawishes

Liz

we have great news!! Our newly redesigned and published pandawishes is now available to order at www.pandawishes.com

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Did you see the latest cover of LIFE?

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Did you see the latest cover of LIFE?

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Can you name this panda? 1937 circa

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are we havng fun yet

Are we having fun Yet?
Are we having any FUN?
Where's this greatstory of HOPE that I thought would be here? DO we really feel it? I dont have much more hope for this country, than did two years ago. In the sad truth, I feel like we have to be more hopeful, but the hope itself isnt just standing there looking pretty.

I have been entirely caught up in my obstacles and hurdles to find great words to share, and its been a challenge to navigate blogs and emails from an Iphone. I think an ipad might be better for this format. I just hate the whole, timeto upgrade with the latest piece of plastic, and glass... what ever happened to forever?
What ever happened to tried and true? Where have all the horses gone? We as humans are just so competitive, so sure of what we want, and we just run or the finish line, with all our things, maybe we might want to walk a little more, dance a little more, sing a little longer, and stay here and visit a little longer. Where do we realy have to go?

Traveling might be the enemy of all forms of prejudice, but does it really bring us what we need, or do we tell ourselves once we are there, sure this is what I wanted,this is it! Because we have no control over the place we go and the people we see, and its so much easier to be nice to strangers than to be close to those we know so well.

Movies to watch this summer!
1.Fiddler on the Roof. Drink a little wine gather the relatives and watch the whole thing, sing and dance with it, cry and laugh, but dont miss out!

2. American Graffiti. George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola, 1974, Marin County CA, if thats not enough reasons, maybe the BEST MUSIC YOU WILL EVER HEAR, no contest.

3. Toy Story 3, havnt seen it, but I know its great-- PIXAR i am predudice.

4.IRON MAN, 1. 2. LOVE IT!!Hurray for the girl friday, hurray for the USA and GO AIR FORCE!.

5. Babies. If you dont have one, than get one! no kidding, if you dont have a baby this is a must!

6. Cosmos, the entire collection by Carl Sagan. ANYONE who has not seen this shoulod be-- put in a file and resarched how you could have possible missed out on this.. unless you are less than 20 I forgive you.

7. The Power of the MYTH: Joseph Campbell, read it or watch it, but do not judge it until you have seen it all. And see it for what it is, Religious compairision, you can think for yourself right?>

More to come--
have fun today, walk the mile pet the cat, take the big dog to the park, put on music and enjoy life
PLEASE-- LIFE-it is not just for you, what you do effects everyone around you.

All my love and prayers for employment for my husband and all in dire straights like us.

Have Mercy on us O Lord.


LIZ

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this is a day to remember, the same as it is for numerous others,
graduation time. A right of passage for the high schoolers to
transition to adults. Thankful are parents and grandparents alike for
the times we've shared and hopeful are the students to be so intimate
with the future, it's a moment worth celebrating in grand fashion.
Those are real smiles, on real people. Blessed days beautiful moments
captured in blogs.

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I think everyone should have a face like this to answer too , one that
says ,
I may be cute but I still going to bite you!!

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Applying to life

to my utter amazement it never hurts to vent a bit now and then... My not so flattering review of my life at home should have been filtered for private review but truly I know that no one was really hurt in cyberspace because of my drizzling words.
It is never a good idea to wallow in your pain, and I wasn't pointing any fingers at anyone really but
myself . To that end, it is good to see murphy enforcing his law of hypocracy my wimpy whines just put me in the cheesy tray up for review s'okay I'm up for it.
When in doubt paint!! And red is the new blue it has transeformed the house- for the better. More room appeared! and the energy of red vibrates, and invigorates the space. the magic of red and romance of red sophistication and style. it's no secret it vibrates the highest frequency, check out the artist paints they are numbered by this frequency and red rates
the highest even over white. I love it!!
Passion, devotion, lovable, comfort.
This is my update and my real
life aplication
changing the surroundings
to change the
moments
not ignore the pain or deny it, not pretend to be here but really be here .
in grace and in peace accepting inconsistancies that bring us to ourselves.


We can do miracles if we believe and never give up!!

An Eternity of Frustration...

I said to my Husband of 20 something years, sometimes I feel like Sisyphus, and he said what is that? Even in trying to explain it to him, I was not able to reach him; ever notice that some people really don't listen? They just look at you with that blank stare and then go on to the next sentence like, you did not even say anything? That is what it is like to talk to him,unless its about him- he just doesn't get it, we can try to talk about things, but the ball will always fall back on me. Its a frustration that begins to become overwhelming for me, and I just cant explain it any other way. Thanks to Wikipedia for this definition:


"Sisyphean task" or "Sisyphean challenge"
As a punishment from the gods for his trickery, Sisyphus was made to roll a huge rock up a steep hill, but before he could reach the top of the hill, the rock would always roll back down, forcing him to begin again.[2] The maddening nature of the punishment was reserved for Sisyphus due to his hubristic belief that his cleverness surpassed that of Zeus. Sisyphus took the bold step of reporting one of Zeus' sexual conquests, telling the river god Asopus of the whereabouts of his daughter Aegina. Zeus had taken her away, but regardless of the impropriety of Zeus' frequent conquests, Sisyphus overstepped his bounds by considering himself a peer of the gods who could rightfully report their indiscretions.[3] As a result, Zeus displayed his own cleverness by binding Sisyphus to an eternity of frustration. Accordingly, pointless or interminable activities are often described as Sisyphean. Sisyphus was a common subject for ancient writers and was depicted by the painter Polygnotus on the walls of the Lesche at Delphi.[4]


I can visualize it, because I am a visual person, I like to paint pictures not only with my art, but with my words, it is important to me, to create calm, and beauty. I used to believe that I was bonded in love, now I am not so sure, I am bonded all right, in frustration...

For so long now, I have struggled with my choices and have tried as much as possible to use what I believe are my talents, my ability to speak clearly with people, to help and serve, and in this facility I have always made my living, and been complimented for it. Most people would agree, that retail, and personal sales, writing,and artistic teaching requires a talent and love for open communication with all peoples.

It would seem that I could accomplish this talent even at home, and yet, I cannot, and even on good days, the less I say the better. The people I share my home with all agree on one thing, unless you speak about STEVE, he cant talk about anything else. It is one thing, and one thing only, him. All things revolve, wonder, live, and breathe around him, and therefore, when it all stops, you can imagine, what happens...No one can possibly encompass all the necessary talents to please all people, and no one can be completely at a loss to communicate when they are of common intelligence, so what makes this uniquely different? Consistently, there is a lack of compassion, for anything outside his realm of vision. I can liken it to a Black Hole, you are led in, but you wont come back out without fight, and nothing can fill it, nothing can stop it, nothing except GOD, and itself. It will take everything, it will suck in the light, and it will not stop, ever, it is relentless, and can only see itself, one way, to take to destroy, and to make all things work for it. It cant see what it has done, it can only go one direction, and black holes don't tire, they don't take days off, and they don't have feelings.

In other words, out of sight out of mind, and he is most likely always out of sight. I wish it was, the cool and groovy -" out of sight.." but its not, its absence, and it doesn't grow fondness it creates holes of problems.

I was going to talk about Sisyphus, and how I am constantly pushing and working to try to find a way to fix the problems, and then I realize that if I just let go of the ball, it might just disappear right? Problems don't disappear, you know I have read a lot of books on religion, and Indian Philosophy, being American Indian, as well as ABORIGINE, and one of my favorite analogies is the dark room. Do you see yourself in the mirror, yes you do, now turn off the light, do you see yourself now? NO, but that does not mean you are not there, YOU KNOW YOU ARE THERE! You don't fool yourself to think that you are not, in fact you probably look harder to see yourself in the dark. Indians have many stories that parallel society of this day and age, they speak of the times to come and they understand the rich heritage of where they have been, it always peaks my interest, and even though I am not a practicing American Indian, I am a believer of their faith. I am also a believer of Jesus, and have had my path shown to me over and over, but the sad truth is, I have also, because of my good faith seen the dark sides, the fringes, and the edges of lightness, where dark takes people and uses them for that purpose that can and does hurt others.

No one likes to talk about the fringes, no one wants to hear about it, but in the ying and yang, there is always both, light and dark, male and female, good and evil, and all the greys in between. You cant have one without the other. I cant deny it because I have seen it, (and I have tried to offer some of my stories on another blog I have listed called pandawishes.)

but science says there is no spiritual, there is no religion, there is no faith, no...love. Because if it cant be proven mathematically , it cant be, real. Prove to me that you can make someone love you, that you can make someone care, prove it to me. You can't, you know you can't, and no one can. There is no guarantee that you will be loved, no matter what, we know that is truly up to you, it is the perception of what you think love is. If you think love is, pain, then it is, if you think love is sex, then it is, if you think love is watching television while eating, and drinking until you fall asleep, or making tons of money, or traveling to far off remote areas of the world, it is. WE can only be who we are, and what is even more misleading about love, is that when we first meet the people we fall in love with, our brain tricks us, it provides us with free drugs, so that we don't know right from wrong, we cant do the right thing, we are turned on, and we cant turn off. Until the love runs dry, and our brain stops pumping the love drug it is like any other addiction it can't go on forever, unveiling the truth, about ourselves, and the path we let our self fall into. It is the smartest people that don't fall in love, that don't let themselves go, and keep the straight and narrow.

Love will break your heart, love will make you cry, and according to Mother Theresa, if you love someone you will not be able to avoid pain. If this Godly- person that knew the truth about love, who was so willing to be selfless and giving to so many, to give up her own comforts, she is someone that I know has a handle on this, feeling of -eternal frustration. Mother Theresa says,a Mother will have unavoidable pain, as they give birth, and bleed. So many people will look to children for the completing family, and never realize the selfless commitment they require, the constant testing and the loss of freedoms that arrive as soon as that baby does, children never really get this, until they themselves have children. The love of a parent to child cannot be compared though, and if you are a woman, you know what I mean, it is as close to God that you will ever be, and sadly some will play god with their children. Tender moments of infants glide us for years through much of what should be the happiest times of our lives, but more often than not, someone is the caretaker and someone is the bread winner, and in that agreement, somehow, we can forget the pain is there. When the focus comes back to the couple often there is no commonality left, and the holes in life cant be filled with time, or money, or travel or gifts, it can only be filled with ...you tell me, what is your choice, your love of choice, -aka drug of choice.

If love breaks our heart, then pain is maybe the best teacher, the most consistent, of the lessons, that we can count on, once we embrace that, we again find the struggle of balance one that begs of necessity over gain, or we give into the lacking of something, and that too will cause the pain.

Recently I was explaining what it was like to watch your children turn into adults, and how difficult it is to know when you think they are ready to be on their own, and make difficult adult decisions. I compared it to a fine wine, you know you have worked hard to grow this fruit and you have struggled through the seasons of dry and plenty, and kept this harvest safe for wine. And when you made that wine you used only the finest bottling equipment, you proudly placed your name on it and made it to the best of your ability, and lovingly placed it, safely in a place that allowed for time and care, waiting patiently for the day to let it breathe. No one really knows the perfect day to open a bottle of wine, not really, if you wait too long, it can be past its prime, and taste watery, and thin and even be ruined, but if you open it too early, it can be harsh and green lacking of any flavors, and then it will also be ruined. Wine is a fine line, you have to know how to take care of it, with a lot patience and stable surroundings, so that when it is opened it will allow your senses to taste and enjoy what is one of life's great wonders. Fine wine, is a art, it is the encompassing of great knowledge, difficult farming, good basic water and ground, and years and years of experience. As the best wines will show you, it gets better with time, and usually, the longer you wait, the better the fruit, the greater the value. I know wine is not a child, and this sounds very -- Christian of me, but the truth is, Christ used wine as the blood for a very good reason, this bond this vine is our life force, and we are all apart of it, you cannot live without the family bond, and you alone, one grape does not make a great harvest, you must bond with others, and find your talents. Stick together and prove your value.

That is my dilemma, I surely did not know when was the optimal time to uncork myself, and pour myself out to the right table guests, and therefore, I am hesitant to let my new fruit out too soon as well. I am eternally frustrated to try to work with the tests that I have, and I know I can let this ball go at anytime. I am not going to be strong for the sake of strength, or fight just to fight, I can only play the goodness game so long, before I am all muscle and no mentality.

If I could change one thing for myself today, I would be grateful for more good healthy work, more time to myself, and more money to be able to find a new path, without a mountain and a endless ball of frustration.

And so I end this with my recent pillow prayer, The Lord is my shepherd, surely goodness and light will follow me all of my days.

Pslam 23

simple abandon

RANDOM THOUGHTS:


Volcanoes are terrible things, and when we think we are in control, mother nature shakes things up and smokes us out. I live in Shasta County with more active volcanoes in the 100mi radius, than any other place on earth; the recent Icelandic explosion was an unhappy reminder. There is no real good news, except that each day without an eruption is a good one, I suppose.

I read my cousins blog today, and was astounded at her beautiful writing, and fluid style. I felt compelled to compliment her gentleness, and I wanted to climb inside the computer and go where she was, and see the people and places that she writes about. I put her link on my blog today, and I hope you read her intelligent thinking, about really important lives in India, it is about as different as can be, from the USA. It is brain food.

What did you learn today? Do I sound like a teacher, or a mother? Is that something we say to our children, after they return from school, because otherwise it sounds condescending? I feel like we should say that as much as possible, what are we learning. I learned that many people have very strong opinions about life and politics and sexual preferences, and there is no stock answer, no remedy for social pains, no one is going to completely agree because we alone translate the information, the way we see it. Like Jenny B, she sees the best in people, or at least she offers the best in the outward expression of it. Some I have learned, cant see the good in anything, ever, that is because once-one thing went bad then, to them it all went completely bad, and they threw out the baby with the bath water to coin a phrase. Politics are dividing people and countries all over the world, from every race and religion, no one is free from it, the judgments from separatists seem to have one thing as a common rule, none shall be allowed to individual, somehow we are all placed in a box of some kind. Independence is a liberal word that no longer offers sanctuary from judgment, and laws provide many excuses for the legal ways to be discriminated against. I wonder how long it will take for the food that we eat to put us in jeopardy, and the cars we drive, and the houses we live in, insurance companies, tax collectors and government surveys will categorize our life in a way that is predetermined by some rigid scientific theory that all people who eat certain foods can and must look and act a certain way. As long as we use this kind of science to judge others we have no magic, no belief and the spiritual kindness that favors the gift of love and brilliance of the childhood innocence. Its all been done and there are no new discoveries as long as science predicts the future. Predictions used to come from nature, we looked to the plants and the trees and the sky and the birds once, we could judge by the health of the crops the health of the economy. Its no longer a natural world it’s a land of created seeds, dwarfed fruit tress, and genetically altered vegetables, along with fortified cereals, canned foods and synthetic drugs. Man made remedies for man made problems, nature can't compete when we believe we are most intelligent creatures on earth. Even though, its obvious that certain living things like, insects, weeds and germs can not only live longer and stronger than us, they are outwitting us and outnumbering us rapidly. Take the rats in Thailand, nature can produce a million rats in a matter of a few months, and it will eat all and destroy entire crops lands, they don’t seem too worried if Gays marry or if, we have a woman in the office or if the water has been filtered by Brita or kitchen aid. Other countries have seen the same problems we are seeing, and this is the one truth, the way of the people depends on harmony with nature.


Chocolate is a plant from the rain forest and is a wonderful anti-depressant; it works quickly and is rather inexpensive. Body-Fat is a depressant, and can be caused by excessive chocolate intake, and the worry about getting fat, is depressing too. Synthetic-Drugs are great anti-depressants, and yet they are expensive and made in the USA, and so I eat chocolate, and think about how much I save, not buying a better drug, and therefore I am happy. Chocolate is a short-lived drug, and love works far better as a anti-depressants, but that too can cause chocolate binge eating. Chocolate makes you feel the same buzz that love does, how come we don’t love chocolate like people, making a shrine, or a religion because this living plant sacrifices itself for our freedom? No other plant is associated with that kind of buzz, oh except marijuana, which is available in every continent on earth naturally- happy 4/20/2010. You won’t be happy, or buzzed or in love if you end up in jail, for having that kind of plant…and talk about depressing. I hope they don’t outlaw chocolate, and love. But, love that is not a man and a woman is outlawed, and sex that is in a marriage is legal, but sex that is in a store isn’t. Books that show women and men naked are legal, and available everywhere to buy, but going naked for free-isn’t free you will pay a fine, and be locked up. If you break the law, you cant buy chocolate or have sex, but the people that are there to protect you ….okay I am done now.

When great freedom fighters pass on, do we stop fighting for the cause, do we forget to carry the torch? I have seen history forgotten, that is beautiful and full of sweet memories of animal preservation, unraveled in the mention that animals are merely too unworthy of our time to be cared about. Maybe we just realize that we cant expect others to always behave the way we think they should, but we have to weave the good parts of ourselves in an outward expression and look for the moments to wave our colored flag, and hope no one stones us for it. Simple abandon, is a play on words from the title of the book , simple abundance. I love Sarahs books, if you want better things to read, than my random thoughts-this is Good News!

Away We Go to Mendocino

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