Hello!
How are you? and yes, I am waiting for an answer? You ever notice how it seems that there are people that just SAY things, and don't really even think about what they say, they just- go through the motions... for example:
Manners, does that even ring a bell, then your showing your age, because what ever happened to those? They seemed to go out of style with, old music, nice clothing and suits, and big giant cell phones. If you do have manners, I have a couple of questions, please help...whats up with this:
Hi! You look so pretty today!
Thanks-- you do too.
Is this just rhetoric? Do we even believe that, why say it at all if you just want someone to say it back, because people~ we know, that if you don't say the exact thing back- there is something really unfortunate happening, you don't appreciate the compliment! You were RUDE...( and yet sometimes if feels so patronizing.. for me, THAT feels so fake, like its a ploy to see if that's all you care about, how you look. Its not!, and often, well all the time, I know I don't look great, or even good, because I think that my standards are a little too high, or maybe exaggerated but I like men that dress nicely, but its not always a sign of class, I like honesty in personality best. See I am different, I don't JUST- look at the outside of people, I am actually much more influenced by what comes out of someones inside, and its never a surprise to see, the imbalance of beauty to behaviors.
Hi how are you?
Fine thanks how are you.
Fine thanks.
If you're a woman, you say, fine. If you're a man you say OK, and if your really into it, you say GREAT! and then walk away. I don't know why, but I think that you actually care ...IF you ask.
Thanks , for asking but if you really don't want to know, don't ask me! I cant tell you how many times I have been in a store and the clerks stalk you, "HI -- HOW ARE YOU,"
Um - I am shopping,( for good food , and prices that don't make me think your all getting rich, but I don't say that, even when the third or fourth, or fifth clerk says it...)
Finally I said as I was paying my bill, " You might want to ask everyone to NOT ask how are you, because after I had been asked about ten times, I was really going to tell them how I was doing " He laughed and said go ahead tell me, and that was the ice breaker for real friendship, and he is always nice to me, and doesn't ask me how are you. He smiles and I say, I am going to ask you, and then expect you to answer me, we chuckle...
It's just ridiculous to start a conversation with "how are you, "when you don't even know that person. I am not saying that I cant be nice, and say all the right words, but if a business is unaware that all the people are saying, "hi how are you," they are not selling the product they are secretly -psychologists in the wings, and really just want you to NOT talk to them. Most people go about Thier business
Ask me, what are you looking for, or MAY I assist you in your shopping today, or better yet, Thanks for coming in today! Or Liz great to see you. Best of all, I like the smile, that one little gesture that says, hey I am at peace with this, what ever it is. It also says, I am open to talking, or I am intelligent enough to help you if you need it and I know you're smart enough to ask for it, because women -will-ask for help. We will ask for it, and often I will offer it as a consumer in a public place, even when I just know the employers don't really want me to. HA!
For example, at the BANK, the one that claims to be of AMERICA...there is a person at the door, like a mait r'd "what can I help you with today?" ANYTHING? How about the fact that your ATM just ate my card and my check, can you do that? and they always give you the direction to the desk and then call a number far far away, and then I talk on the phone...that's not customer service, that's something else. I talked to their people for hours, and told my story ten times, and then I still had to fill out forms, and wait to have them say, we will think about this. Its just that moment you realize, being nice doesn't always work. You HAVE to get a little pushy!
No seriously, its odd to have someone smile and you - and comment to people as they pass, its like an inside beggar, CAN I PLEASE -- help you. She works there, and looks like she needs a job! Please don't ask me, please be busy, please please please I just think as I realize shes about to ask me. I'd just once like to see, once of those helpful people HELP someone, shes not doing the helping, shes directing people...I might look like a blond, and a girl, but really is that was shes really doing? REALLY? It feels a lot like, the person weeding out the weirdos, prejudging us, and yes Ill say it, profiling. When did it become the new normal to just look at someones outside and think, yes they are safe. Or oh no, they don't look safe? I am not going there.
I know that if I dress up, in my business attire in Redding, people will treat me like the manager of what ever place I am in, almost NO ONE wears real suits here, its kind of sad. I am so used to seeing my Father and Mother, and relatives in suits, men in three pieces suits with real wing tip shoes and nice hair, and clean, its just the way I was raised. We lived in the areas where there were plenty of clothing choices, but still, the people that worked wore working clothes. What is the problem with this? Okay, yes we think that success is only measured by how we dress, and that our outside attire can hide our inside imperfections, I will agree with the superficial-ness of that. The truth is, you do dress for success, and if all of a sudden a group of business' came in and had this image of success, and the look of clean, tailored fitted and classic , I think it offers a positive image and would inspire others to possibly-strive for higher ideals. That's a mouthful, its a long shot, maybe even a silly idea, but it works in almost every big city. Yes kids, people do look at what you wear, and they do see that first . Sorry.
Jim Rohn spokes about this: " God judges you on your inside. People Judge you on your outside. People aren't supposed to do that, but they do, they DO!"
In Redding, and the adjacent areas, very few understand professional attire. I can go almost anywhere, and count on one had the number of people who LOOK like they are working,( and even less that act like they are working.) I just keep thinking, that more more its gets about, wearing all black, and dressing down, and taking the personal style out of wearing clothing, that we need less and less. If you don't see it around you, if you don't eat it, live in it or wear it, you don't need it. If it doesn't pay your bills feed your kids, or clean your house, you cant afford it. We are a society of decadence, don't be fooled by the news and the Internet this is the USA- and we have lowered our standards with our use of the Internet, cell phones, texting, slang words, our lack of truly respectful work clothing, and the loss of intelligence in the most common choices such as foods we eat, and prices of services, and even worse, we just accept what we are told. The kids still use terms like Ho- and pimp, and the fashion industry has made it popular to look like those images, selling us the EMPERORS NEW CLOTHING.
How far are we from going naked with boys and men wearing pants below their bottom? And girls in bathing suit tops, lower than the cleavage? Its not that this is wrong all the time, its just wrong at work! Please, do I need to be clearer here? What are you selling you, or the product? If all I can see you, and I cant get past you to get in the door, and you wont leave me alone after your first greeting or give me any attention when I wait at the register, people this is why we are out of work, and in a consumer stale mate. NO one wants to go out anymore, because NOTHING is worth it! The price we pay, for restaurants, and services is barely worth it, and add in the fact that customer service is non existent, why buy anything in a store, or go out to eat. WHY?
There seems to be no end for reasons to do everything yourself, even at the grocery store we have to bag it our self, and ring it, and of course cook it. Why is this trend of us just doing it ourselves getting so big, because people don't trust others, and we don't want to pay someone else, for something that it seems like we can do better. It's a no brainer, we're not paying for what we're not getting, and its just the consumer finally saying I am not going to take it anymore.
Do what ever you want in your house, dress how ever you want in your business, or day off or what ever, that is not up for debate. My honest opinion is just that, its just my view of this life.
To be plain and simple, stupid outfits make you look stupid. Sorry, and smart suits can make the dumbest person look smart. That's just the way it is. You can find clothes for almost nothing at the GOOD WILL or the SALVATION ARMY, not to mention the oodles of Consignment shops waiting for you to recycle. That's smart living!
What is the difference between MACY's and the SALVATION ARMY? About 50$
When you buy something, and wear it just once its used. YOU wore it, once! Unless you are very famous, your clothes wont be worth what you paid for them, do not think that the consignment stores would carry anything that wasn't gently worn. Its just smart living to recycle your things, and shop at these local stores to help the economy. The majority of these people care, and they will give you what you pay for, but not more than that. Don't expect high tea at the junk store, and don't expect thrift store prices at Macy's. Its just simple. If the stores don't cater to what we need as consumers we are not going to buy it. And if credit is all they think we are, even the employees are treated like customers, fee paying, profit building, and disrespected you can be sure that the clientele will be treated the exact same way. How much do we really need? How many coats, how many suits? how much is enough? Its a balance that is not always easy to maintain, but kids you could think about this more.
" Chasing earthly pleasures will only bring your frustration.."
If everyone had to wear the same thing, wed fight for our right to be our own style. If there was only BLACK clothes Macy's would not be rich, and its employees would not be forced to just wear that, people would fight for freedom to wear their own styles or even MAKE THEIR OWN CLOTHES! Referenced to the past days of history when there were no fabric stores, and we were not even allowed to BUY any fabric except black, women were told what to wear, and anything else was considered outrageous! We don't miss the choices until they are gone. Prove to others that you believe in choices, make them every day! and Say yes I made this choice, not just, well I don't care! CARE! Everything has an impact, it's your life.
"Observe" as the Indians say, you don't always have to be doing, going, buying.
Lets make the kind of choices each day, that insist upon honesty, that open the doors for respect to others choices, and keep in mind that what do is more valuable that what we look like, but that we can choose to improve the way people see us! Not just by how we dress, but that helps. What you do is up to you, choose to be smart, and say what you want , but mean what you say.
By the way, how are you?
Always
in
Love
LIZ Pandawishes.com
Todd Rutherford (
