ou know you're from SAN FRANCISCO when..........Global

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1.You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means San Francisco. 2.You have never been to the the Golden Gate Bridge or Alcatraz. 3.You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Union Square to the Embarcadero at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 4.Hookers and the homeless are invisible. 5.The BART or MUNI makes sense. 6.You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. 7.You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "Frisco". 8.If you have lived in San Francisco for more than ten years. Not including living at home with your parents. 9.You call an 5' x 7' plot of patchy grass a yard. 10.You consider Marin "upstate". 11.You think Golden Gate Park is "nature." 12.Your family immigrated here to give you a better future. 13.You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal." 14.You've been to Oakland twice and got hopelessly lost both times. 15.You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent. 16.You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid. 17.You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed. 18.Your closet is filled with black clothes. 19.You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you. 20.You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents. 21.You take fashion seriously. 22.Being truly alone makes you nervous. 23.You have 27 different menus next to your telephone. 24.Going to Berkeley is considered a "road trip." 25.America east of the San Francisco Bay is still theoretical to you. 26.You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form. 27.You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise. 28.Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes. 29.$150 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag. 30.You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories. 31.You don't notice sirens anymore. 32.You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns. 33.Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Chinese and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian. 34.You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you. 35.You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills. 36.You think $5.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price. 37.Your door has more than three locks. 38.Your favorite movie was filmed downtown. 39.You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. 40.You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection. 41.You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license. 42.You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available. 43.You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent. 44.You know where to get the best Pho in the Tenderloin... 45.You have bought a home anywhere but in San Francisco. 46.When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels. 47.You know the differences between all the different Irving Street Pizzas. 48.You're not in the least bit interested in going to the Embarcadero on New Year's Eve. 49.Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect. 50.You know what a massage parlor really is. 51.You know how to fold the San Francisco Chronicle in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats. 52.Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet..... 53.You cringe at people who ask you for directions back to their hotel when San Francisco is only 7 miles by 7 miles and they are two blocks away from their hotel and they have a map marked "you are here". 54.Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. 55. People from other states cant tell a polar bear from a peanut, but they know you're from San Francisco the second you open your mouth. 56. When you are able to make a right turn at a red light.. you think it's the best thing ever. 57. Rather than waiting safely on the sidewalk to cross the street, you wait inches away from speeding traffic waiting to cut through it. 58. Your local news is national news. 59. You walk a mile in 13 minutes and think that everything should be open 24/7. 60. You go clubbin' at 1015... 61. You think you know better than everyone else in the world.. when in reality.. well.. you do. 62. Yellow light means speed up. 63. Red light means speed up because you know have that 1 second pause until the other light turns green. 64. Communicating with people on the road only takes one finger. 65. You order your dinner and have it delivered.. From the place across the street. 66. You cross the street on a greenlight, and if you get hit by a car you blame the driver for "not watching where they're going. 67. You can tell a gunshot from a firecracker and not get scared, but when you go to the burbs you get scared of hearing a cricket. 68. You have asked a bum for some spare change before he was able to ask you and he pulls out a $100 dollar bill.

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Location:

San Francisco, CA

 

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